What a powerful two weeks it has been. I just arrived back home back from a short teaching tour at a couple truly wonderful transformational festivals. I am so grateful to be able to offer the work that I do, the reward is almost instantaneously received through the heart opening feedback I get from participants.
At one of the festivals I had a particularly powerful moment i’d like to share. I was leading a process in which men are asked to confront any core fears that are coming up in their lives. We had a moment for the men to share. One of the men immediately raised his hand, he said he had never talked about this with anyone but felt safe in the group of men.
Tears came to his eyes as he struggled in his sharing that he is so grateful to be in this circle of men, without really knowing why he came to the festival, other than an impulse to go upon hearing about it (he had no idea what the festival was about). As soon as he parked his car and entered the festival he happened to walk by me, I said hello and casually invited him to join in the men’s workshop.
The man then shared “my main fear right now is my anger”, “I’m afraid of my own anger. He said that the prior weekend he gotten into a nasty verbal fight with his wife and unleashed his uncensored anger, verbally assaulting her. He shared that what he had said to her was so hurtful, that she had almost killed herself later in the evening. He quietly shared about his overload of shame and remorse around this, he told her he would work on his anger but didn’t have an idea where to begin. He took a big breath and the room was silent.
He was so grateful to have a safe place to bring some light to his very painful and challenged situation he is in. He was happy to know that other men have these struggles as well. He promised to continue working on himself and has since booked some time to speak with me.
What an amazing story, he just happened to have popped into the festival, walked by me and was invited into a mens group of which he had never ever imagined being in before. And, the road opened up for him, his prayer to work on his anger answered in an ease filled way.
I really felt for him and his wife, I know the pain around having the poison of anger inside, of not knowing how to shift into loving. When one has anger we often simultaneously have an internal longing to apologize, crying out from within, but the feeling of constriction is over powering, like a net wrapped around body and mind.
I know many men right now deeply struggling with the pain of anger, the good news is that many men are ready and willing to do the work to transform themselves. Men are slowly and increasingly showing up to do the work.
The world now more than ever needs men to do their healing work. Women have been praying for this, the earth is demanding it and of course children need healthy masculine mentors.